Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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