i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
