Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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