I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
She's JV to your varsity
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
