Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
