I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
