I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
