Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
