Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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