now i know why i became what i already was.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
