of course. lets lasso hookers.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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