No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
