Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
