Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
