I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
