You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
bring money and cleavage
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
