is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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