i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
