Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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