I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
