this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
