you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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