So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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