I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
