If that was your dad, he is hot
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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