dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
