I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
