Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
