I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
