Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
