I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
