Ambien. No doubt about it.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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