She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
