I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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