Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
