okay pat passed out under dana's car
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
