I think scott just propositioned me for sex
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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