ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
