So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
