Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
