hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
