so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
