he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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