just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
