i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Of course I have a pirate flag
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
