omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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