operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
