So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize