I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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