I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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