shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
