fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
