awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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