All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I have feelings that need drinking.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
