you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
