it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
