Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
