the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wish i was in the wii world.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
