White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
