? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
